Falling off the bandwagon and how to get back on?
As we approach mid-January, I have fallen off the bandwagon in terms of my daily habit. I decided for 2021 I would journal every morning. I usually feel a twinge of guilt and shame. I couldn’t even make it to January 15th! Shame on me! But then I remember why I fell off the wagon, I had breakfast with a friend and didn’t get up early enough to write in my journal, but being with her made me so happy! Can I really regret living my life?
The truth is that falling off the bandwagon is not the problem, not getting back on is the real issue. The truth of the matter is you are NOT perfect. You are human. Things come up, you forget, life intervenes, you were too tired, etc. There are so many reasons why it could have happened. So how to get back on and move forward?
Radically forgive yourself. Positive habit-forming is a practice in radical self-forgiveness. We are taught that we need to be perfect but that is impossible. If something doesn’t happen one time, it has nothing to do with your willpower or who you are as a person. Here is my forgiveness practice: Put your hand on your heart, and say out loud “I forgive myself.”
Ask yourself why it happened? What was the reason? If it’s something you couldn’t have done anything about, then allow the guilt to dissipate. If it’s something in your control, then come up with a strategy to avoid that interruption in the future.
Don’t wait until Monday. Many people fall off the bandwagon and say "I will start again on Monday". No! Start immediately. That way you train yourself to get back on asap!
Have a buddy. Trust me, you need support. You need someone to talk to about why this is going right or wrong. Get an accountability buddy or get a coach or join my Homebase: A Community for Goal Setters so that you have a reason to keep focusing on yourself. Having support is the #1 way to set yourself up for success.
Keep your goal in mind. I highly recommend hanging your goals somewhere in your bedroom, bathroom, or office so you keep reminding yourself of the importance of continuing to try! Vision boards are also great for this too!
Adjust when necessary. Some people actually mistake falling off the bandwagon with having to adjust something. If something isn’t working properly then always feel free to adjust it so that you set yourself up for success!
Celebrate! When things are going right, make sure to celebrate! Give yourself a pat on the back, tell yourself how awesome you are! This is vital because it will reinforce the habit with positive validation. This will make it easier to keep it up.
I know for myself, the more I forgive myself, the more I do. When we are paralyzed by self-hatred, we are not helping ourselves. Learning to forgive and move forward is a skill that will help you with your habits and also in every area of your life! The bandwagon is simply the vehicle that will take you to your final destination: your dreams coming true.
The more you get back on, the more likely you are to make it!
